The MOVE Framework: Advocating for What You Actually Need
This guide is most helpful for high-achieving working mothers who over-give at work and under-ask for what they need, particularly when they are quietly burning out, moving through a career transition, or returning from leave and renegotiating how they want to show up.
Contributed By: Sophia Mikelionis · Principal Consultant, Gearing Together
The Core Challenge
Many working mothers, especially high achievers, learn to earn their place by never asking for anything. They absorb extra work, stay quiet about what is not working, and avoid advocacy conversations because asking feels like admitting weakness or risking their reputation. Over time this silence compounds into burnout, resentment, and roles that no longer fit the life they are actually living.
Key insight
The real barrier to workplace advocacy is rarely the negotiation conversation itself, it is that most working mothers skip the internal work of getting honest about what they actually need before they ever open their mouth. In the MOVE Framework, Mirror and Own always come before Vision and Engage. You cannot ask clearly for something you have not yet named to yourself.
Practical Strategies
1. Mirror: Notice the moment your identity started blurring with your output. Get honest about where "who I am" quietly became "what I produce" or "what I achieve." Write down one role or accomplishment you've been using to answer "who am I" that doesn't actually feel true anymore.
2. Own: Reclaim the parts of yourself you shelved to keep succeeding. Own the curiosity, the hobby, the friendship, the version of you that existed before the achievement did. Name it out loud, even if it feels indulgent or unproductive.
3. Vision: Picture growth that isn't just "more." Ambition doesn't have to mean the next title or the next milestone. Get specific about what satisfied, not just successful, would actually look like for you six months from now.
4. Engage: Take one action this week that isn't tied to a result anyone else will see. Do something purely because it's you, not because it produces value for someone else. This rebuilds the muscle of having an identity outside your achievements.
5. Follow Through: Build a weekly check-in with yourself, not just your calendar. Before you say yes to the next thing, pause and ask "does this still feel like me, or am I just proving something again."
A Small First STep
This week, write down one specific ask you have been putting off, in one plain sentence, and decide who the actual right person is to bring it to.
This makes the guide immediately actionable.
Sophia Mikelionis, is the Principal Consultant and founder of Gearing Together, a speaking, consulting, and workshop practice helping high-performing corporate women build decision clarity and self-leadership. After nearly two decades in corporate finance at companies including Kellogg and Ferrara Candy, she burned out with no language for what was happening to her, she just knew something was wrong long before she could name it. Now she helps women spot the early signs of burnout before it eats them alive, so they can make decisions from clarity instead of from crisis.
